Hurry Up, Plotva!

What the photo shows

This is not a frame from a game but a staged photo from the set of the Netflix series The Witcher. The monster hunter Geralt, played by Henry Cavill, sits on a horse: he has long gray hair, dark leather armor with studs on the shoulders and chest, a silver medallion on his neck, the hilt of a sword visible behind his back, and gloved hands. He looks up and to the side, not forward.

The horse is ginger, with a white blaze on its muzzle, and the bridle is dark. Around are a gray sky, bare bushes, the slope of a hill, and a stone wall on the left. Geralt has no hat, and the scene is quiet: no galloping, no movement. All of this matters for the joke, since the image is solemn while no action takes place.

How the picture appeared

In July 2019 Netflix posted the first image of Plotva from the upcoming series, and a Belarusian website ran a note on it under the headline “Hurry Up, Plotva.” The caption under the photo read: “You asked, we showed: here is the first look at Plotva!” The author of the note joked that the horse in the photo was not going anywhere, and that made the headline look funny.

Exactly how the phrase gained its popularity is not known for certain. It is known only that the headline and the picture appeared together in the summer of 2019, half a year before the series premiered in December. Claims that this is a constant line of Geralt’s from the games have not been confirmed by verified sources.

Who Plotva is

Plotva is Geralt’s mare in Andrzej Sapkowski’s books and in the games based on them; she is a well-known character to whom fans are attached. In the Russian translation her name sounds exactly like that. In the series, Plotva was shown in the first official image, and fans had been waiting for it with interest: the Netflix caption itself makes this clear.

The meme feeds on the fact that Geralt, in film and games, is a grim and reserved hero, while the command “Hurry up!” is domestic and impatient. It is a simple but effective shift in register.

Caption examples

“Hurry up, Plotva, the meeting started five minutes ago”: the motionless horse and the rider’s shout create the comic contrast on their own, without extra words.

The same command also works as panic before a sale: “Hurry up, Plotva, the discounts are ending.”

Sometimes the caption addresses not the horse but a gadget: “My laptop, which has been booting for ten minutes.” The joke holds on the fact that nothing in the picture is even thinking of moving.

A road theme works too: “Hurry up, Plotva, we’re stuck in traffic.” The rider has frozen as long as the cars in a jam.

How to use it

The caption is best placed as direct speech above or below the picture. Situations where someone or something moves slowly while the speaker is in a hurry work well. There is no need to specify that the picture is from the series: fans will recognize it, and others will get the joke without it.

Be accurate: if you describe the frame, state that it is from the series, not the game, and that the horse is ginger. That way you will not repeat the common confusion.

One more technique: place the caption as two lines of dialogue, where the first belongs to the hurrying person and the second to the one who does not move. For example, write “Come on, faster!” on the top line and leave silence below. The horse’s stillness and the hero’s stern look complete the second half of the joke without any explanation.