7 Simple Phrases That Will Amaze Any Conversation Partner

What's in the image

At the top, in large black letters, runs the headline '7 simple phrases that will stun anyone you talk to and make them wonder if you're secretly Boromir.' Below, on the left, stands a man with long blond hair in leather armor with a horn on his belt. On the right is a table with arrows: on the left, 'instead of saying this,' and on the right, 'say this.'

The table shows four pairs: 'That's impossible' is replaced with 'Even if you had ten thousand warriors, it would not be enough,' 'I've never seen anything like that' becomes 'What new devilry is this?', 'I want to leave' becomes 'I will find no rest here,' and 'I don't need much' becomes 'I ask only for the strength to defend my people!' Although the headline promises seven phrases, the image only shows four.

Who Boromir is

Boromir is a character from Peter Jackson's film 'The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring' (2001), played by Sean Bean. He's famous for the line about not being able to simply walk into Mordor, and that line alone fuels a whole branch of memes. This template uses the same device: an ordinary word is swapped for a grand phrasing, as if the speaker were in the middle of an epic scene.

Where exactly the table came from couldn't be established. It's dated to 2018, but that isn't a confirmed date of first publication. What is known is that the 'say this instead' format was also used with other characters, and the headline parodies the kind of clickbait advice lists along the lines of '9 communication tricks.'

The mechanics of the joke

The joke operates on two levels. The first is a parody of life-hack listicles: the promise to 'stun anyone you talk to' sounds like pseudo-psychological advice. The second is a bait-and-switch: instead of a practical recommendation, the reader is handed phrases that would only make sense in a Middle-earth film.

On top of that, the pairs are well-matched by contrast. The modest 'I don't need much' and the grandiose 'I ask only for the strength to defend my people' are separated by an entire era. The reader is left to imagine how that would sound at the office or in the kitchen.

Captions for your own version

'Instead of 'I'm hungry' — 'Nothing remains in this world but hunger'': a mundane state turns into a tragedy.

'Instead of 'I'll be late' — 'The road was long, and the darkness was closing in'': an excuse delivered like a chronicle.

'Instead of 'I agree' — 'Here is my sword'': the shortest replacement.

'Instead of 'Can I get some tea?' — 'Will you not let a weary traveler warm himself by the fire?'': an ordinary request delivered as a hero's plea.

The same mechanism applies throughout: each pair has the same gap between a modest phrase and lofty language, and the plainer the left side, the stronger the effect.

How to use it

The template is easy to adapt to any character: just keep the table and swap out the portrait and the lines. Make sure the quotes are recognizable, or the joke falls flat. Don't promise 'exactly seven' phrases if you're writing five — the small mismatch between the headline and the content can be left in as part of the irony.

What the choice of character says

Boromir works well because his lines are recognizable even to people who haven't watched the whole film — many know him from other memes. The actor's calm, grim dignity in the shot suits this kind of instructional table, where everything is deadly serious while the content is absurd. The image itself shows the character full-length with a horn on his belt, and that look of an epic warrior turns everyday vocabulary into a saga.

The same trick works for Geralt of Rivia, for other show and game characters: all you need is to pick a character with a recognizable way of speaking.